So there we are waiting when I see a bus pull up and without thinking twice, I get on and sit down. After a few minutes I realize that I don't see the driver in an MBTA uniform, and then I see there's nowhere to deposit tokens either. Slowly I turn around to see a bus full of the hottest chicks I have ever seen in my life. "Are you the oil boy?", the bus driver asks. "We were supposed to pick him up at that stop." I thought, oil boy, what the hell?....then I quickly thought that a bus full of hot girls and anything involving oil can't be bad so I quickly said, "Bloody right!" Without taking his eyes off the road the driver says, "Great, because if the girls aren't oiled up properly they may not score as well." It turns out that this was a bus full of hope fulls from all over Massachusetts trying out for the Miss Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Team. We were headed for California and guess who gets to oil up all the girls before they go on stage...SIFF VILIS! I figured Ernie would understand.

Here's me with my lowrider bike, "Blue Magic"

Going back to California was a great surprise because I haven't been back there since I moved to MASS to sell cars for Ernie. The contest was a blast and I got to know most of the girls VERY well. We had a couple of days to kill before going back, so I decided to give some of the girls a tour of Hollywood Blvd. The freaks come out at night, and I forgot how true this was. It was just like how I remembered...lucky for me the bouncers remembered me as well and the girls and I enjoyed V.I.P. status all night long.

While we were partying that night, I heard one of the girls mention that she saw some blonde pop singer on the dance floor and that her husband was nowhere in sight. I'm not the biggest fan of American Pop music, frankly I think it sucks, but the image of the female "artists" that your record executives crank out sits very well with me. I decided it was about time that SIFF VILIS made his break into pop music, so I made my way to the dance floor to see what this girl was all about.

I introduced myself and escorted her to the bar. The bartender quickly served up a double of Jack Daniels for me and a Cosmo for her. The place was very crowded and someone bumped me into her while trying to get the bartender's attention. "Is that a sock in your pants or are you just happy to see me?", she asked. "It's a sock!", I said, figuring I would try something new...honesty. I guess the joke worked because she laughed and asked what else I have room for in there. "Plenty", I said as we finished our drinks and made our way upstairs to the V.I.P. room.

There was no wedding ring, even though I heard she was married, so I just played it cool like usual and I can say that things worked out (a few times) and both parties were happy. The next morning as I was leaving, there were all sorts of people snapping pictures so I just hopped in a cab and went back to my hotel. Shortly after, I hear that her and her husband confirmed rumors that they were splitting up and that her antics from that night were the final straw. Looks like I F'ed-up again...Don't blame me, I just got on the wrong bus, that's all.

Some new friends...

I think Ernie Jr. will understand... after all, wouldn't you? Looks like SIFF VILIS did it again! Looks like we're busted...